Meditation on Seeds & Leaves

Chew each bite at least 30 times, Sister Harmony instructs. And then the 20 of us sit in silence and chew as we’re told. My normal portion suddenly looms like a mountain I won’t be able to climb. More than I can eat. More than I need. What was I thinking?

And that is the point, of course. When I served myself, I wasn’t thinking. I was reacting – to the beautiful food, to my perception of hunger, and to a habit of believing that satisfaction requires more, more, ever more.

Mindful eating was just one approach taught by Sister Harmony, Sister Presence, and Sister Garden of Insights – three Vietnamese nuns from Plum Village, Thich Nhat Hahn’s community in France. These wise and graceful sisters led a retreat at the beautiful Zen Rocks Mani, which I am lucky to have near my home in Greece. The retreat was called Living in Harmony: Mindfulness in Community Life, and I can’t think of a more urgent topic. For five days, the sisters guided us in meditation, both sitting and walking, singing, deep relaxation, and a four-step process for transforming communication. All to help us befriend the present moment, no matter what it contains.  

Put your hand on your heart when challenging emotions arise. Say: I see you, I am here for you. Notice what’s not wrong. Today is a non-toothache day! How wonderful!

When we arrived, we were wary. Who are these people? Do I really have to sing these babyish songs? Every little cell in my body is happy, one declared, with accompanying hand gestures. In another we sang, we are all the leaves of one tree. Yet by the final night, we were swapping folk songs in our native tongues – Hungarian, Greek, Arabic, Romanian, Hebrew, Vietnamese, English. Even an Austrian song and dance.

Then I came home.

In the days since, days marked by death and discord, the sisters’ gentle methods and clear wisdom seem even more precious, and more revolutionary. We all carry seeds inside us, a mixed garden where anything could grow. Joy, peace, optimism, but also anger, ignorance, and hate. Which ones will we water?

When we transform fellow humans – dear friends, as the sisters would say – into scary others, we water the seeds that tear us apart. But with practice, we can shower the garden of our souls with appreciation. First for our own good qualities, then we seek out the best in others and nourish that too.

We are – for sure – all leaves on one tree. While it may seem like that branch over there is far, far away, it is still us. What’s happening there is happening here.

Let’s water well.

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Read an excerpt from my latest novel, All the Reasons Why.